GET READY TO LAUGH!
Enjoy these jokes about apartments, landlords, renters, moving, apartment locating, or apartment living. We are here to put a smile on your face! And once we help you find the best apartment in Dallas, you will not be able to wipe the smile off your face for a long time. Do yourself a favor and call us today, or fill out the form to get started right away!
Don't Forget the Anniversary:
Ralph and his wife Sylvia just moved into one of the best apartments Dallas has to offer – a high rise with an attached private parking garage in the downtown Dallas area. They used the services of an Apartment Locator to find this perfect apartment. In all the confusion of the move, however, Ralph completely forgot that it was he and his wife's 10th year wedding anniversary. His wife was VERY angry, needless to say.
Sylvia threw some newly unpacked objects at Ralph and threatened him by yelling “tomorrow morning, I expect to find something just for me in our parking space that goes from 0 to 200 in 5 seconds. If I don't, then I will call our Apartment Locator again to find another new apartment in Dallas, but this time, the apartment will be just for ME!”
The next morning after Sylvia gets dressed, she goes straight to the parking garage to look in their parking space. Sure enough, she sees a present sitting there waiting for her, but it is a rather small box, wrapped up with a bow. She runs to the parking spot and quickly unwraps the gift.
It was a bathroom scale.
If you would like to find the best apartment in Dallas, contact us today. We'll be happy to send you free, custom inside information on all the best apartments Dallas has to offer, saving you countless hours and making sure you get the best new home at the best price. Just, please, don't forget yourwife's (or husband's) anniversary!
Why was the old run down apartment building so upset?
Because it was a distressed property.
What do Real Estate Agents have to know when they are helping someone look for the best spot to build a new apartment building?
Answer: They need to know Lots
The word “apartment” is a contradiction. They call it “apartment”, but all of the units are stuck together in the same building!!
Apartment Locator: So, Bill, do you like your new efficiency apartment? I know it is only 200 squarefeet, but that is what you wanted, right?
Bill: Yes, it's exactly what I asked for. I have no room for complaint..........literally.
Black Hat Apartment Tips That Your Apartment Locator Will Never Tell You: Most apartments have a rule that only allows 2 occupants per bedroom. But what if you have 10 occupants (8 children and 2 parents)? You aren't likely to find a 5 bedroom apartment. One innovative gentleman who refused to lie to the apartments found a creative way to get approved. He asked his wife to take the 4 youngest children and go hang out at the local cemetery for the afternoon. Then, he went by himself with the 4 oldest children to the apartment complex of their choice and filled out an Application for a 3 bedroom apartment. At some point, the leasing agent asked “how many occupants will be living in the apartment?”. He said with a downcast face and a sad sigh “Well, there would be 10 of us,.. But 4 of my children are in the cemetery with their dear mother”. The Leasing Agent refrained from asking any further questions, and he got the apartment!
A certain young actor had a lot of ego, but not much cash. His impatient landlord approached him asking for the rent, and the tenant replied “you are lucky! I'm doing you a favor by even living here. One day, people will point to this apartment and say “Jones, the famous actor use to live here”. The landlord replied “If I don't get the rent you owe me by tonight, they will be able to say that as early as tomorrow!”
A tour guide in Europe was leading a group of tourists through an ancient castle. “This place is over 700 years old. Not a single stone has been touched, nothing has been altered and nothing has been replaced in all of those years” A voice in the back of the crowd says “They must have had the same landlord that I have now!”
Funny exerts from different letters sent to the leasing office by renters:
1. “I wanted to request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen”.
(I wasn't aware that you had to have permission from the apartments to do this! What if you want to remove them in the bathroom?)
2. "I would like to file a complaint about my upstairs neighbor. He was practicing his trumpet last night at 2 am, and it really disrupted my party. We could barely hear our own music!"
3. "I want to report a strange smell coming from the apartment above me where the HIPPIES live. I was going to call on occifer of the law, but I thought I would tell you about it instead. It is coming right out of the hair conditioner vents right into my own department! It makes me too very upsetted, so please look into this strange smell. What was I talking about? Oh, look at the pretty lights!"
4. “I am afraid I will not be able to pay the rent this month because my bank changed locations, and I am not sure where they are”.
5. “Please send someone over right away. Our toilet is blocked up and I cannot bath the children”. (hmmm, a little bit further explanation would be helpful on that one)
A Leasing Agent at an Apartment Complex was showing a unit to a prospective tenant and she began to ask some of the usual questions:
“I know you are new to the Dallas area. Are you and your husband employed here?”
“Oh yes, my husband's job transferred us here to Dallas and he makes a very good income. I am a stay at home mom”
“How old are your children?”
“Eight and Twelve years old”
“Oh, no!” she said earnestly. “They are very well behaved!”
Why is Amy at J. Ellis Apartment Locators so happy to help you find your next apartment....the best apartment in Dallas?
Because it is the lease she can do.
Blonde: Do you ever help people find an apartment who are moving here from other countries?
Apartment Locator: Oh yes. I recently helped a Brazilian.
Blonde: Wow! How many is a brazilian?
START YOUR SEARCH NOW